A thank you note

Nine years sober

I cannot think of something more special than someone’s sobriety day.

It is the day where someone took every ounce of strength they had, and gave themselves the chance of a lifetime. A gigantic heave-ho towards something different.

It is a day where someone gives birth to themselves.

This is the most important day of my year.

Of my life.

I have my life because on this day,

9 years ago,

I woke up, and in my desperate collapse, tried.

This most special day,

It’s mine. Just mine. I gave it to myself.

For me, from me.

Thank you.

So I spend it as I wish.

Sleep in.

Yoga class.

My sweet pop is taking me out to dinner.

Precious friends will call and text and tell me they love me.

I am so in love with all of them.

Thank you.

I am in awe of my sober friends.

Everyone should be if they could see where they came from,

and what they have created.

If those outside could even begin to peek at the miracles that have occurred… awe.

Nine years later my whole world is different.

I am here because of the people who cleared the path before me.

Thank you.

Some of them in the rooms.

Some shouting out against the rooms.

Some writing, others podcasting for us to read and listen.

A group of fellows who welcomed me warmly.

A few beautiful women who stood with me, and walked me through the wreckage I created and helped me clean things up where I could.

Thank you.

I am here because I am loved.

By my parents.

By dear old friends.

By new friends.

By a tiny, faintly heard part of myself begging for something else all those years ago.

By God.

“There, but for the grace of you go I.”

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

9 years in, I continue to recover.

To get stronger.

grow a spine and use it.

implement boundaries.

recognize love, and not-at-all love.

learn my heart.

use my voice

follow the warmth in relationships

earn my own respect.

find ease, contentment and surrender

recognize and follow my path

I have never felt closer to the god of my understanding than I have this past year.

I have never lived so aligned to my spirituality. Closer to my heart.

There is still more path ahead to discover… I’m grateful that there is.

This year, my meditation is having the courage to change the things I can. Im so proud of what I’ve done.

Thank you, with all I have and am, thank you.